ALOPECIA AREATA-THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM

WHAT THE HECK IS ALOPECIA AREATA? 

Experts suggest that Alopecia Areata affects one or two in every 1000 people.

I’M ONE OF THEM.  

It’s an Autoimmune disorder when triggered the body produces antibodies which then attack the body’s own tissues.  In the case of Alopecia it attacks the hair follicles.

It’s a condition where patches of hair loss develops.  For some cases severe hair loss can be permanent causing Alopecia Totalis (Total Baldness) or Alopecia Universalis (Total loss of hair body).

There are several treatment options, in my case steroid shots to the scalp area affected. THERE IS NO CURE. 

WHEN DID I DEVELOP THIS CONDITION? 

Four years ago while at my nephews baseball game I had my hair in a ponytail when a family member pointed out a round like bald spot in the back of my scalp.  When I got home I took a closer look and I was shocked at what I saw in the mirror.

I made a Dr. Appointment and kept it a secret from everyone including my daughter and husband.  I didn’t want to alarm or worry anyone because according to “google MD” this hair vanishing act could have been caused be alot of things, some very serious and life threatening.

As the condition continued to progress I was losing more and more hair.  Every time I’d take a shower, shampoo and condition,  chunks of hair would just fall out.  I’d look at my hand full of my long hair and cry.   I would avoid brushing my hair or going to the hairdresser.  I was scared and sad.  It was emotionally draining.  But internalizing it made things worse.  As stress is a trigger and accelerates the hair loss.

HOW DO I DEAL WITH IT? 

  1. Dermatologist officially diagnosed me with Alopecia Areata
  2. I did my own extensive research and studied all about the condition.
  3. I meet and spoke to others with this condition
  4. I chose the treatment that worked best for me.  (Monthly Steroid Shots to the Scalp)
  5. I joined a local Alopecia Support Group http://www.naaf.org
  6. I talked to my family and close friends.
  7. I found a great therapist
  8. I took inventory of my life and reduced unnecessary stress
  9. I found a great hairdresser that worked with Alopecia clients
  10. I wear hair extensions to cover the bald patches as necessary www.thehairshop.com
  11. I prayed ALOT !!

WHY AM I SHARING SOMETHING SO PERSONAL? 

Things are not always as they seem.  No ones life is perfect and no one is perfect.  You see I’ve learned along the way that we really don’t know what people are going through.  Everything might seem fine and dandy on the outside but the reality is that they may just be dealing with a heavy load.   It could be your co-worker , the lady at the check out stand, the man changing your oil, your kids teacher your sister in law, anyone can be in that season in life where things are rocky.

Once you figured out the facts and you’ve done your homework – TAKE ACTION.  Yes you can be sad, scared and even angry of your situation.  In fact, I encourage you to allow yourself to feel all the emotions.  However don’t wallow in it.  Stop worrying yourself and others, find out the facts, inform the ones that love and care about you, THEN GO TO WORK AND TAKE ACTION !! 

SHARING IS CARING. Some people may think this is TMI and that’s ok.  However there is someone out there that needed to hear and read this today.  This is for you.  You are not alone and things will get better.  Keep moving forward.  IT’S TIME TO PIVOT !! 

Lisa Marie

Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

 

 

MANAGERS ARE YOU VALIDATING YOUR STAFF?

Calling all supervisors, managers, bosses, directors: DO YOU VALIDATE YOUR STAFF?  If the answer is no I have to tell you.  You’re missing out on the biggest return for your investment EVER !!

These are just some of the WINS you’re missing out on when you neglect STAFF VALIDATION…

  1. Increased Productivity
  2. Increased Bottom Line
  3. Increased Creativity
  4. Maximum Effort
  5. Positive Staff Morale
  6. Increased Loyalty
  7. Decreased Turnover
  8. Decreased Workers Comp Claims
  9. Decreased HR Claims
  10. Decreased Sick Days
  11. Decreased Office Gossip / Drama

If you’re still reading this I urge you-don’t allow your EGO to get in the way.  I know you may be thinking this sounds cheesy.  Or maybe you believe people should just be grateful for a steady job and a paycheck.  After all that’s the arrangement right?  Employee agrees to perform duties for a predetermined amount of hours in exchange for a set monetary figure.

My friends, if this is your mindset allow me to challenge you to access your Emotional Intelligence.  Expand and think beyond the obvious.  If you dare to be vulnerable and courageous as the best selling author, Dr. Brene Brown suggests, read on. 

 I can tell you that most subjects brought up in coaching sessions or training conflict management all come down to lack of VALIDATION.

All human beings need and strive on validation.  It starts at childhood.  It’s about how the adult”s eyes light up (or not) when the child walks in the room.   We are all looking for the one person who we think the world of to validate our existence.  To show us that we matter.  That what we do matters.  As we grow into adulthood, the need to be validated does not disappear it manifests in different ways.

Here’s an example. True Story – I once worked for a highly intelligent business owner. For some time I respected and admired his brilliance.  Working at this company felt like family.  We all worked very hard , cared about the company and each other.  I could safely say that more than half of the employees were high producers, loyal, with exceptional work ethic, and focused experts at our craft.  We would bend over backwards and went above and beyond to reach company goals.  We received a salary, commission and health benefits.  This was a fun place to work and morale was high.   This was the environment for several years.   Somewhere along the way there were subtle changes and moves however the staff continued to perform and it was business as usual.  Until this one change the staff felt very strongly against and expressed the concerns to the owner.

He did not take it well -AT ALL.  I along with many other loyal, hard working employees were honestly shocked at his reaction.   I was speechless and didn’t see it coming.  Up to this point I thought highly of his abilities to lead.  He crushed us and demoralized his team.  I clearly remember his words, he called us cowards for writing the petition and leaving it on his desk.  He said this business was not a democracy and whoever did not like it he’d be more than happy to help find employment elsewhere.  He said many other things from the podium but those are the ones that impacted me the most.

In all fairness perhaps the staff’s approach in expressing our disagreement with the changes was not the best.  Maybe there was a better way.  None the less,  his reaction destroyed what took years to build.  The sad thing was that I don’t think he was aware of the tremendous loss and the fall out after his response to a simple request.

After offering to find us an other job, those who stayed lost their motivation and were depleted. Most people including the highest performers made the decision that day to start looking for employment elsewhere.

In case you’re wondering,  YES, he’s still in business and I sincerely hope he’s doing well. Not everyone left or moved on.  And I often wonder how powerful and amazing this company would have been if he had VALIDATED the staff that day.  The potential and the talent in that room was unique, a rare find.  It was sad to see that he didn’t recognize that this group of people would have taken the company to the highest levels in the industry and beyond.  We had a lot left to give and would have delivered, without a doubt.

The irony is that he really didn’t need to honor our request.  All he had to do was VALIDATE our concerns and listen.   If he would have taken the time to explain the reasoning for the necessary changes we could have understood and probably problem solved the logistics with him. However EGO and lack of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE got in the way.

Now many years later, I value this experience as a wonderful learning opportunity.  I find the purpose in all the lessons.

Since then my career has taken me from front line staff to upper management, now coaching, mentoring , training and speaking and I’d like to ask all  leaders to check your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and your level of VALIDATING others.  I promise, you will not regret it and you will reap the benefits!!!! 

Lisa Marie

Jeremiah 29:11

NOT EVERYONE CELEBRATES YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS

YES, it’s true.  It took my a very long time to come to terms with this reality.

You see,  It’s in my nature to wish everyone well, I’m your biggest fan, your cheerleader, coach,  mentor.   I celebrate your successes, I encourage you on your journey and support you in your defeats.   That’s just how I was brought up.

In my naivety I genuinely believed EVERYONE thought this way.  To the extent that when other people pointed out the opposite, I brushed it off and refused to believe it.

Part of me wanted to try to figure out why they felt this way.  I thought, well if I explained how these great things came to pass for me ,  I’d tell them good things just don’t come out of the blue, it takes years of preparation, discipline, hard work, perseverance and grit.   Then maybe they can self reflect and change their mind.  Heck maybe it can even inspire them to pursue their goals with this new insight I shared with them.

I KNOW, I KNOW.  YOU’RE PROBABLY THINKING .. YA,  GOOD LUCK WITH THAT !!

Since I was struggling , I brought it up to a mentor and he asked me this one question “Don’t you think you’re taking on a responsibility that is not yours to take on?”  He was absolutely right.  He didn’t have to say anything else.  I got it.  It is not your responsibility to make other people feel comfortable with your successes.  When we do this we take time, focus and energy away from the projects that got us to the positions we earned to be in the first place.  It also depletes our emotional and physical well being by trying to be all things to all people,  Sometimes people just have to figure things out on their own.

YOU CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT FIX EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE !! 

So let me save you a lot of time and some heartache.

 ACCEPT THIS REALITY!!

The moment you step out of the circle and start to shine on your own, there will be some people that will criticize , gossip and talk behind your back.   Some will even try to sabotage your growth, promotion or whatever that good thing is coming your way.

Reminds me of the lyrics in one of Taylor Swift ‘s songs “people throw rocks at things that shine.” (If you don’t know who Taylor Swift is, just ask you kiddos, they’ll know)

For some people your bright light is too much for their eyes to handle.  They feel threatened by the brightness as it reflects on their shortcomings.  It’s really not about you and your success.  It’s a reflection of their self talk.  Because the more other people rise above , their lack of productivity is exposed.  Frankly, if that person was content with their current situation, your successes would not bother them.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS REALITY ?

  1. KEEP SHINING
  2. KEEP MOVING FORWARD
  3. PICK YOUR HEAD UP
  4. DON’T BE COCKY ABOUT IT
  5. IGNORE THE CHATTER
  6. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
  7. PERSEVERE
  8. BE DISCIPLINED
  9. CREATE
  10. DEVELOP

VERY IMPORTANT- Do not allow the negativity to block the view of your squad, your cheerleaders, those people that have your back,  your mentors and coaches.  Don’t forget these are the ones you want to focus and relay on.  Sometimes we can get caught up complaining about the people that “don’t like us” and we ignore and take for granted the one’s that deserve our attention and focus.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO FIND YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE OR MOTTO.  THEN POST IT, SO YOU CAN REFER TO IT WHEN YOU NEED THAT FRIENDLY REMINDER.

HERE IS MINE:  ‘THE MAN IN THE ARENA’ 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

President Theodore Roosevelt

Lisa Marie

Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THE MAN IN THE ARENA” is a famous quote by President Theadore Rosevelt.  I adopted it as my motto after I heard Brene Brown refer to it in her book ” Daring Bravely”.

I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR TO WORK TOMORROW !!!

SO IT’S SUNDAY NIGHT and you have no idea what to wear tomorrow.  You meant to wash this weekend but things got in the way.  By things I mean grocery shopping, birthday party, baby shower, homework, kids baseball games, taking care of elderly parents, yard work, cleaning the house, scrolling social media, family gathering, fill in the blank here ____________.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST GOT THIS JOB? You were motivated and it was important for you to make a good first impression.  You picked out your clothes a day prior and made sure things were washed and pressed.   You might have even prepared your clothes for the entire week.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?  Is it simply that you don’t care anymore?  Maybe no one ever noticed so why even bother?  Could it be everyone else at work doesn’t put in the effort so you decided not to either?  How about this one?  I was passed up for a promotion anyway so, WHATEVER, it does’t really matter.

WHAT IF THE REASON THAT MOTIVATED YOU TO DRESS FOR SUCCESS WAS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION ?  Which had it’s function at the time, however one of the downfalls with extrinsic motivation is that it’s temporary and inconsistent.

The definition of EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION: refers to behavior that is driven by external rewards such as money, fame, grades, and praise. This type of motivation arises from outside the individual, as opposed to intrinsic motivation, which originates inside of the individual.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS …  DID YOU MAKE SURE EVERYONE ELSE WAS TAKEN CARE OF?  My guess is yes.  I bet you made sure the kids clothes and uniforms are ready.  You probably made it to the dry cleaner to pick up your husbands shirts and uniforms.  If you take care of elderly parents, I’m certain you made it to the pharmacy before it closed to pick up their medication.  You probably even swung by the pet store for dog food?

THE FACT IS – it takes thought, time, effort and discipline to prepare your week. 

It looks like everyone else made it to on the priority list , WHERE ARE YOU

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU IT’S ABOUT HOPE?   

YES, HOPE!! 

The definition of HOPE;  an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events or circumstances in one’s life or the world at large .  As a verb – it’s definitions include “expect with confidence” and to cherish a desire with anticipation.

I’ve been there…right there.   Somewhere along the way we lost our optimistic state of mind, our expectation for positive outcomes are no where to be found.  We no longer cherish the desires of our hearts with anticipation.

We demonstrate HOPE for everyone else, but leave ourselves out of the arena. Sometimes we don’t even make it to the stands , we’re in the parking lot waiting for the game to finish.

SO WHAT NOW?   Consider me your big sister, your coach, your mom whatever you need me to be. Listen to me carefully,

Your life is NOT ON HOLD.

YOUR LIFE IS NOW , RIGHT NOW!!! 

GREAT THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN FOR YOU AND THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITIES ARE AROUND THE CORNER!!

SO BE READY !!  

TAKE THE PAUSE BUTTON OFF!! 

IT’S TIME TO PIVOT !!  

  1. Put yourself back on the priority list.
  2. Get a calendar/agenda
  3. Block off a specific time of the day
  4. Give it a title (I call mine HOPE)
  5. Then get it done !!

Let me tell you a little secret….Someone is ALWAYS watching.  Watching how you handle yourself day in and day out.  How you handle adversity and set backs.  Believe me this is a true story.  It happens, when you least expect it, from the person you had no clue had an eye on you.  That person was observing you all along and when the moment is right they will make it known.

But more importantly – If you have kids, they are observing your every move.  This is an opportunity to role model your belief in things not seen.

Your opportunity to model perseverance and grit to behave in the way that will forever be engraved in their mindset.

If you don’t have children I encourage you to think about your nieces, nephews, cousins our anyone else you come in contact with.

Because HOPE is what keeps us working toward a brighter future.

NOW STOP READING THIS AND GO GET THINGS DONE!!

THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOU TO SHOW UP !!  

Lisa Marie                                                                                                                    Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AT THE END DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

Deciding what to post today took me a bit.  I have several drafted topics.  However before posting I wait to be certain I’m sharing something that will be useful.  If I don’t have 100% intuitive confirmation, I will not post.  That is my process for creating and developing presentations, projects and training modules.

In short ” It needs to feel right, I need to be at ease and believe 100% in the project’ 

So as our weekend is coming to an end and we turn our attention to starting a new work week, I encourage you to seek the many opportunities to show KINDNESS. 

Yes, KINDNESS.  Somewhere along the way we get caught up in what some people call the Rat Race.  I call it the ROUTINE VORTEX.   In these stages we have forgotten simple manners of KINDNESS. 

Try these simple ways to show kindness even to co-workers that aren’t the most let’s say friendly: 

  1. Smile
  2. Good Morning!
  3. How are you ?
  4. Make the coffee.
  5. Happy Monday!
  6. Thank you.
  7. Please
  8. Have a nice evening!
  9. Goodbye !
  10. See you tomorrow !

If you’re asking yourself, Really? This is common sense! These work environments don’t exist!  Unfortunately and sadly my friends, it’s very true, they do exist.  But you don’t have to take part in this draining energy.

I challenge you to change your mindset this week.  One thing for sure-don’t expect anything in return.  Some people will respond with delight, others will be shocked or indifferent and some may even look at you a little strange.

The key to sustain this mindset is to remember this – it’s not about them, it’s about you.  Are you willing to be the one that brings light and joy back into your surroundings? Or are you content being like everyone else? It’s your choice.

BECAUSE AT THE END WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS: 

  • What kind of energy you brought to the spaces you occupied.

WHAT PEOPLE WILL TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU MOVE ON IS: 

  • How you filled the air with your presence.
  • How you made them feel.  (Maya Angelou)

So my friends I won’t overthink what topic to share today.  Because at the end all I really want you to know is that:

I believe in you – I’m proud of what you have accomplished – You are amazing and you will make great things happen this week – I have faith in your process, in your goals and your dreams.  DON’T GIVE UP !!! KEEP MOVING FORWARD !!!  

Lisa Marie                                                                                                               Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONSIDER THIS YOUR TRAINING GROUND

It’s Sunday night are you already dreading going to work tomorrow?  Are you figuring out a way how to  call in sick but you don’t have enough sick time?  Maybe you made a mistake at work last week and you are not ready to face the fallout?

I’ve personally been there many times.   It’s a miserable, dreadful feeling, that drains your energy and if not addressed builds up and spills over to your personal life and relationships.  We all have worked with that cynical co-worker or have an acquaintance that hates life and doesn’t hold back on letting everyone else know how miserable their situation is.  These people can walk in a room, not say one word, however their aura speaks volumes.  DON’T BE THAT PERSON !!!

HOW DID I OVERCOME THIS TRAP?

Once I decided I did not want to continue with this dead-end mindset, I asked myself this question: What are the lessons I need to learn before I can move on from my current situation?  Clearly there were somethings I wasn’t mastering, that’s why I was stuck.  In order to move past that barrier I needed to learn the lessons. breakthrough and reach the other side.

I encourage you to face the truth about yourself.  I know it sounds difficult and perhaps unfair, because somethings are out of your control. However you do have control of your mindset, your choices, your behaviors, your words and actions.  It takes courage and vulnerability to be honest about your shortcomings and failures.  The choice is yours!

So are you ready?  Be ready and do the work you won’t regret it!!  I know you have it in you !!!!

THE PIVOTAL MINDSET SWITCH : CONSIDER THIS TRAINING GROUND !!!